


Reasons to Live

by sanctuary_for_all



Series: A Thousand Ways [11]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Arguing, Coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, First Kiss, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 12:18:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12254241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: “Of course you were always going to be in this!” Danny threw his hands out, gesturing to the empty restaurant. “What part of my life are you not deeply immersed in? I didn’t want to name it Steve’s because that’s a stupid name for an Italian restaurant, not because I thought you weren't going to be here constantly!”Turns out Steve and Danny still have more to say to each other. (Post-ep for 8X01)





	Reasons to Live

**Author's Note:**

> I actually got a request for this one, from the lovely [Alexisa](http://alexisa1206.tumblr.com). I'm not sure if this is what you were hoping for, but hopefully you'll like it anyway.

They could do this.

Danny reminded himself of this one more time as he stood next to Steve, surveying the space that might one day become a functioning Italian restaurant. Yes, he’d had to browbeat Steve into it, which wasn’t how he would have preferred to do this, but he’d take it.  He’d followed Steve into enough terrible ideas over the years, after all – it was past time that Steve followed him into one.

Besides, he’d learned from long experience to take what he could get, because the other option was nothing at—

“Danny, listen.” Steve’s voice cut through the quiet, the tone Danny’s only warning for what he was about to say. “About earlier. I wasn’t trying to say that you were offering me this out of pity or guilt.”

Danny closed his eyes. One of the many things he hadn’t told Tani was that he _still_ wanted to punch Steve in the face sometimes. “Can we please just not talk about this?”

Steve, of course, had never been very good at listening to warnings. “I’m serious, Danny. I don’t want you to think I think that.” The earnestness in his voice made Danny’s chest hurt. “I know it’s just that you tend to worry about anyone you care about.”

Swallowing back a sound too bitter to be safely described as a laugh, Danny scrubbed his hands across his face. As if worrying about Steve hadn’t been Danny’s default state of being for _years_ now. “And so what, you think I see you as some doddering old man I’m trying to usher over to a metaphorical chair? That I’m stupid enough to think you’d actually listen if I tried to tell you to take it easy?”

Steve hesitated, laying a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “I know you’re doing it out of love, I really do. I just don’t want you to think I can’t pull my weight around here, or that I won’t be there for you on a case.”

The very idea of it was so far away from what Danny was _actually_ thinking that it probably counted as being funny, in that dark, awful sort of way that meant the other option was crying. Danny hardly ever cried, had mostly managed to train himself out of it when he was just a kid, but all that extra emotion still had to go somewhere.

And with Danny, there was only one place it ever went.

“You _asshole._ ” He whirled around, jabbing a finger into Steve’s chest. “Are you really so _stupid_ as to think that’s what this is about? That the reason I’m doing this, that the reason I would do anything, _ever_ , is because I felt you could no longer fucking cut it as a superhero?”

Steve’s stoic expression cracked, a desperation Danny hadn’t expected starting to leak out. “I don’t _know_ why you’re doing this. It didn’t sound like you wanted me anywhere near any of this, and now you suddenly do? What am I supposed to think?”

“Of _course_ you were always going to be in this!” Danny threw his hands out, gesturing to the empty restaurant. “What part of my life are you _not_ deeply immersed in? I didn’t want to name it Steve’s because that’s a stupid name for an Italian restaurant, not because I thought you weren't going to be here constantly!”

Steve blinked, looking completely thrown. “Really?”

Danny’s chest twisted. All these years, and the man still looked that damn surprised. Had he even _noticed_? “Yes, you idiot. Really.” He dropped his hands to his sides, the hot, sustaining swell of anger draining out of him. All that was left, unfortunately, was the helpless, hollowed-out feeling of grief. “I couldn’t even think about the damn restaurant for about a week after you told me about the radiation sickness, because every time I tried it felt like someone had shoved a knife in my guts.” He swallowed. “I finally realized it was because, if you weren’t going to be there, then what was the fucking point?”

He remembered exactly what it felt like to be that alone, and it haunted him that he’d have to figure out how to go back to it one of these days. He thought he’d have longer, had let himself start to believe that Steve McGarrett really could leap tall buildings in a single bound. But even the best SuperSEAL reflexes in the world couldn’t save you from some things.

Steve looked like someone had shoved the exact same knife into _his_ guts.  “Danny….”

“Don’t.” Danny held a hand up to stop him, his heart aching. Steve shouldn’t have to apologize for being who he was, no matter how much it hurt Danny in the process. “I knew you had a hero problem when I first met you. It’s not your fault I need more out of you than swooping in to save the day on a regular basis.” He swallowed down the words caught in his throat, knowing that an “I love you” now would mean a hell of a lot more than it was safe for them to mean. “All that means is that I’m living the rest of my life right now, when I know for sure you’ll be here.”

Steve was still staring at him, so overwhelmed with emotion it looked like he was having trouble breathing. Danny let out a breath, too relieved by the weight lifted off his chest to regret the awkward conversation he was sure they were about to have. “Look, babe. I didn’t mean to break you. All I’m saying is maybe you could look a little less long-suffering about becoming my partner.” That seemed to wake Steve up, at least enough that he started visibly breathing again, and Danny scrubbed his hands across his face. “Okay. We should probably do a walkthrough and make a list of everything we need to—”

“Do you know how I made it through that fire?”

At the quiet question, Danny lifted his head to look over at Steve. He looked utterly serious now, and a trickle of what might have been fear curled through his stomach. “They covered it in the ‘how to survive increasingly ludicrous deaths’ section of your ninja SEAL training?”

“No.” His voice was soft, but his face radiated the kind of intensity that only came with the most serious promises. “I knew I had to get back to you.”

Shock cut through Danny, followed almost as quickly by pain. “Bullshit.” He swallowed. “You were trying to save everybody.”

“I’m not talking about that.” Something fragile flashed across Steve’s face. “I’m talking about those moments when there’s nothing left, and you have to dig down inside yourself to make it even one more step. When I have to keep myself alive just a little bit longer. It’s always you.” He let out a breath. “You keep me alive, Danny.”

Danny just stared at him, heart lodged in his throat. “What?”

Steve smiled a little. “I want this.” He gestured to the restaurant around them. “I still think you’re crazy, but I can promise you there’s nothing I want more than to be with you every step of the way.” He took a step closer, expression turning fragile again. His hand half lifted, like he wanted to touch Danny but wasn’t entirely sure he was allowed. “I want to be a part of the rest of your life, Danny. Whenever it happens.”

There was only one appropriate response to that. Grabbing the front of Steve’s shirt, he yanked him down and kissed him with all the emotion he’d been holding back for so long. Steve kissed him back just as intensely, arms tightening around Danny like he never wanted to let him go.

When they broke apart, Steve grinned down at him. “Didn’t you say that Italian restaurants are sometimes named after the spouse of the head chef?”

Danny couldn’t stop his own lips from curving upward as he pulled Steve back down for another kiss. “Shut up.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my [original fiction,](https://jennifferwardell.wixsite.com/mybooks) my [blog,](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)!


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